Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
