Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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