I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
