Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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