You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
