a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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