I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
