People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
