hotel room ftw
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
