So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
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