Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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