we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
