I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
