We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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