He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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