He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Randomize
