Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You took a bar mat shot.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
