So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
