There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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