I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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