Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
