I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
