You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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