listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
