Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Panties = found
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
