piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
