I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
