yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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