Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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