I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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