Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
