as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
