I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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