Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
