My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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