You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I skipped work to stalk him.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
