He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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