i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
