i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
only if we run a train.
done.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
