he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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