I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
