I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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