so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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