Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
