Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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