I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
