if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
