It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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