So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
