u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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